How to Lose a Belly When You're 43 (part 26) Mad March Hare 2018

Monday
Weight: 10st 4lbs
After a weekend of beer and cake, I've ballooned back up to 65.4kg. Even my 50 mile bike ride couldn't balance out homemade cakes and real ale!
Today, I did a weight lifting session before lunch. I added a little bit more weight compared to last week. It was a struggle, but I got through my 6 exercises at 5x5 along with 300 bodyweight reps in under and hour. Phew!
You can take a look at my current weight training programme.
In other news: sadly my 1985 Technics amp has finally died (refuses to turn on.) If anyone has a cheap amp for sale, do let me know - it must have a phono input!
Weight training, no junkfood, no alcohol.

Tuesday
Weight: 10st 3lbs
Tonight's karate session is destined to become a memorable one. It was a fast-paced mix of kumite and kata. There was hardly any standing around and the emphasis was on spirit and speed. In the kumite, Sensei Jody and I pushed each other hard and then we were partnered with other karateka. Unfortunately, after getting used to trying to train at Jody's level, I accidentally punched my opponent (a 2nd kyu ho, like me) on the nose with my first attack. I apologised straight away and when he realised that he wasn't bleeding he was okay about it. A little later on, I was training with a very tall brown belt. I was the attacker and his role was to block and counter. Unfortunately, he countered without control, punched me in the solar plexus, and it was all I could do to stay on my feet! I staggered off to recover but was lined up to get back in the fight after less than a minute. After the session, Sensei Gary came to see if I was okay - I thought it was because he saw me get tagged, but it was only because I was bright red and sweaty! Must get fitter!
After a healthy dinner of fish and rice, I couldn't resist a couple of beers while cheering on Liverpool and Villa to victories tonight.
Karate, no junkfood, 2 bottles of ale.

Wednesday
After wasting a morning at work, I got home and did another good weight lifting session. I managed to eat healthily all day. Later in the evening, I sat up with Lucy and our friend Dodgy and I consumed half a bottle of red wine.
Weight training, no junkfood, 2 glasses of red wine.

Thursday
Weight: 10st 2lbs
I didn't get up until 9:30am! Lazy boy. This morning, I cycled down to Dynamic Rides to pick up the race numbers for Jonnie and myself for Sunday's Mad March Hare sportive. They gave me a couple of free energy bars so we'll be even faster now. It was pouring with rain with standing water everywhere. I got home cold and wet after 7.5 miles.
I got changed and, just to get it out of the way, set off on this week's 10K run. Thankfully, it had stopped raining. I set off well having already warmed up the muscles on the bike. I tried to stay on my toes and keep my weight forward as I lengthened my stride. I had a few aches and pains at the start but by about 2 miles in I was going well. In the fourth mile I surprised myself by saying out loud, "I'm so tired! I hate running!" I'm glad no one was present to hear this outburst of madness!
I turned up the pace for the last half mile and was very surprised to finish in my second fastest time over 10K! It's still slow by most people's standards, but not bad for an old fat lad who hates running.
The trouble with running is that it makes you hungry. For lunch I wolfed down homemade tomato soup with two rounds of toast quickly followed by another round of toast with peanut butter and then a banana. And I was still hungry...
This afternoon, I went door to door promoting Ruach Karate club and offering people a week of totally free training to see if they like it. Most of the people in my area are either 'too old' or 'have a bad back'. Their words, not mine! I did just over an hour of this until my hands were frozen and my nose was running. It was a horribly cold and foggy day. I went home to play on the Xbox with Martha.
In the evening, Lucy served a fantastic homemade dinner of slow cooked ham, chicken, curried potatoes and savory rice. We settled back to watch Homeland and I finished off the bottle of wine from yesterday.
Cycling: 7.5 miles, Run: 10K in 58m 16s, no junkfood, half a bottle of red wine.

Friday
Weight: 10st 5lbs
Somehow, I managed to put on a kilogram of weight in 24 hours. How does that work? Just too much food I guess...
I took it easy today - the idea is to conserve energy for the Mad March Hare on Sunday.
This evening's dojo session was superb. It was a fast-paced mix of kata and kumite including some freestyle fighting at the end. Unfortunately, one of my opponents blocked my chudan mawasha geri with his elbow. He connected with my big toe which left me hopping and howling! I was afraid I'd broken my toe but I can move it and still walk so I guess it's okay. It now feels like a massive bruise under the nail but there's no sign of any damage!
At home, I enjoyed a few drinks with Lucy and we relaxed in front of the TV.
Karate, no junkfood, one glass of cava, 2 bottles of beer.

Saturday
Up early for a large but healthy breakfast. It was a lovely sunny day so I enjoyed walking the dogs around the park. After tuna, noodles and green beans for lunch I walked around my local area knocking on doors, inviting people to train at our dojo. Two families agreed to come along to try Karate at this afternoon's session (but they didn't show up.) After an hour I went home and got ready for training.
The lesson was a good one focusing on all three aspects of our martial arts: basics, kata and fighting. After the lesson, a young woman kept nagging me to spar with her. I told her several times that I didn't want to but she was very persistent. The trouble is, she's an ex-boxer and very wild. She is still developing the level of control needed to spar safely with other people. I eventually agreed to spar with her as long as we took it lightly. Unfortunately, within a few seconds, she booted me hard in the left knee, the knee I have to strap up when I'm running. To make matters worse, she does karate in trainers for some reason. The kick sent a jolt of pain up my body and the knee now clicks when I walk. Great, and I've got a 75 mile bike ride to do tomorrow!
I was glad to get home and clean my bicycle in the sunshine.
I behaved myself in the evening, had a healthy homemade dinner, didn't have a beer, and then went to bed at 10:30
Karate, no junkfood, no alcohol.

Sunday
Weight: 10st 2lbs

Up at 6am to get ready for the postponed Mad March Hare. The BBC (why do I trust them?) predicted rain all day so Jonnie and I were wearing several waterproof layers including waterproof socks. Of course, it hardly rained at all and we spent the day sweating! 
Even though we arrived at the start for 8am there were already hundreds of riders waiting to get going. We got to the back of the queue and I took some selfies!

8am: waterproof

We set off at a tremendous pace. In the first 10 miles, even though we were riding into the wind, we hit an average of 15.5mph. I knew it was all adrenaline and I knew we would suffer later, but I couldn't help getting caught up in the enthusiasm! We pulled over at 9:40am for a swig of brandy, a banana and a wee. A little later, we had a bit of a mishap: A fast paced peleton came up on our right and we managed to get on board. Suddenly, we were being swept along at 18mph! Unfortunately, I went though a set of traffic lights on green but Jonnie was caught on red. However, I didn't know about this! After a while, I was dropped out of the back of the peleton. I assumed that Jonnie was still in the group and vanishing off into the distance! This meant that I arrived at the first big climb of the day alone.
When it starts to get steep, Strava measures the Dover's Hill climb at just over a mile and at 8% gradient. A real leg destroyer for us amateurs! I immediately noticed how slow I was compared to other riders. 2 years ago, when I rode up the big hill as part of the MMH, I was overtaking a lot of riders and no-one overtook me. Today, it was the exact opposite of that: everyone was riding past me (apart from those walking.) Two explanations for this: I'm not as fit as I was, and there are a lot more serious riders on the MMH this year. I think both explanations are true. Usually on an organised ride you see people on mountain bikes, or riding tandems, with baggy shorts etc. Today, nearly everyone looked as though they were training for the Giro and had at least £2000 between their legs!
When I reached the top of the climb, literally dodging the Jelly Babies all over the road, I noticed that Jonnie wasn't up there waiting for me. Maybe he wasn't in front of me at all!?
I kept going so I didn't cramp, but I kept it at a steady pace downhill to the start of the next big climb. 
I forced the pace right down and span my smallest gear until Jonnie caught up and we continued on together.
As far as my injuries are concerned: the knee was fine! My bruised toe from Friday was throbbing mightily but not causing me any problems.
The feedstation was okay - lots of free food to be grabbed by the armful, and room to park the bikes up. However, there was a long queue for the toilets so Jonnie and I decided to ride out into the lanes for a wee instead!
The rest of the ride was pleasant with a couple of stops for brandy and biscuits. The only downside was one local driver who nearly side-swiped me and then blared his horn at Jonnie. He made the mistake of pulling into a drive. I stopped to confront him but he turned out to be too old to hit. He actually squealed at me: "It's not fair! Go and ride somewhere else!"
I swore at him for a while and then rode on to catch up with Jonnie.
After the adrenaline had wore off I actually felt rather stupid for stopping and wanting to fight. As Master Funakoshi stated: There is no first strike in Karate. It was then, riding away from swearing at an upset old man, that I realised I was starting to lose my way as far as being a good karateka is concerned. I'm now determined to make a change for the better and to control my temper.
After 70 miles I was done. Every part of me was aching: legs, shoulders, back and especially my undercarriage! This was only my second ride on my new saddle - I obviously hadn't got used to it yet! I was running on fumes, breathing ragged, and dreaming of a sit down with a beer. Jonnie, on the other hand, said how strong he felt in the last part of the ride! He really has come along way in developing his fitness and strength over the last 5 years or so.
We crossed the finish line after 6hrs and 15 mins. We had covered 77 miles at an average speed of 13.7mph (I think Jonnie's speed was closer to 14mph.) We were awarded with a weird medal: a chain wear gauge (wut?) on a ribbon.

The strangest 'medal' in my collection

I was really looking forward to a pint of Purity Saddle Black in the beer tent. Sadly, with around 1250 riders on the route, the beer tent was full! Jonnie and I headed back to his house to drink some Purity UBU (thanks, Sally!) and watch some guy we've never heard of win the Amstel Gold race.

It's a hard life...

I rode carefully home to have one more beer with a fantastic homemade lamb dinner (thanks, Lucy!)
It was a splendid end to the holiday. Unfortunately, with the return to work looming large, there were none of the festivities of previous years when the two families get together to celebrate. I missed that, but was glad to get to bed early to rest my aching legs and back.
Cycle: 77miles at 13.7mph, junkfood, half a hipflask of brandy, 4 or 5 ales.